Doing 5 minutes of stand-up comedy is on my life’s bucket list. I can’t think of anything more terrifying than standing in front of a crowd of people that are watching and waiting for you to make them laugh.

I don’t know what I’d say. I don’t have any jokes!

With stand-up, it doesn’t matter who you are, who you know, or what your net worth is—if you tell a joke that doesn’t work, it’s painful. Painful for you and the audience. I get so uncomfortable watching a stand-up bomb that imagining being the one stage makes me sick to my stomach.

Steve Martin wasn’t actually born standing up, but he did dedicate 30 years of his life to perfecting the art of telling jokes on stage. 10 years of learning, another 10 years of floundering in tiny clubs, and finally, 10 years of growing success.

By 1978 Steve Martin had become the biggest concert draw in stand-up comedy history. By 1981 he walked away from stand-up altogether. His life’s work! He reached the top, looked around, and decided he was ready for something new.

His memoir, Born Standing Up, is a story of perseverance and tenacity. Here are some lessons from the wild and craaazzy guy:

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If you thought everyone you came into contact with today was going to die tomorrow you might choose your words a little differently. Your tone may change. You might even let them pull into your lane after all. I know they didn’t use their signal, but come on, “they’re dying man!”

I pulled into the gas station yesterday and was immediately cut off by a guy in his truck. He took the last spot. I waved my arms, pulled right behind him, got out and demanded an explanation.

I don’t know why I was so ready and willing for confrontation at 7 am but that’s probably a different story.

I slammed my door and said, “What the hell was that man? You cut me off here!”

I could tell by the look of shock on his face he had no idea what I was talking about. He apologized profusely. I was immediately defused. Adrenaline turned to shame.

He got in his truck and happily moved for me. I think he had pity on me. He must have wondered, “Why is this human acting so stressed at this hour?” Maybe he thought today was my last day on earth.

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Hello, beautiful people!

It’s been awhile since I’ve sent out a newsletter, but not because I haven’t missed you. As you may or may not know, I spent 3 months globe-trotting about in South America, but alas, my dance below the equator has ended. I am now in a new home in Ocean Beach, CA.

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